Happy Sabbath

1
Winji yuakna, inyisa ng`wononi,
In Jakonya, bina; Chunya motur ogombo bironi,
In Jakonya, bina.

Chorus:
Asebayo mabor e piny malich,
Asebayo mabor kodi; kawa koro,
Idwoka e kundi, In Jakonya bina.

2
Aonge kara, kata kar konyruok.
In Jakonya, bina; Wang`i mang`uon miya bedo gi ler,
 In Jakonya, bina.

3
An kenda ka, to tienda ol e yo,
In Jakonya, bina; Ang`iyoi, mond` ayud mor kuomi,
In Jakonya, bina.

4
In ok nidag jalo ma chunye tur,
In Jakonya, bina; Winj alamna,
Kendo iwinj yuakna, In Jakonya, bina.

Gor Mahia craze a blessing in disguise for Kisumu city businesses

The lakeside city of Kisumu has for the last two weeks witnessed what has come to be known as a 'green invasion', when the Gor Mahia football club was in town. 

The team's presence over the weekend to play their last match saw thousands of fans stream to the city in buses and private vehicles, singing and chanting the team's slogan. 

The fanaticism and fanfare left residents yearning for more of such days, with businesses operating 24 hours to satisfy supporters who had travelled from as far as Mombasa, Nairobi, Nakuru and Eldoret. 

Leaders are now calling for more Gor Mahia matches to be played in Kisumu to spur its economy. The 'Green Army', who never shy away from controversy, cheered their team to lift the coveted Kenya Premier League title for the second year in a row. 

They then thronged the city's eateries and night clubs to celebrate their team's glory. The fear by some business owners of possible hooliganism and looting drove them to close early. 

But when all was well after a 3-0 thumping of Ushuru FC, most business remained open until the wee hours of the morning. Most supermarkets also remained open for two days as the fans streamed in to buy various commodities. "We rarely make such amounts in one day. 

I wish business was like this every day," said a teller at Nakumatt Supermarket. See Also: Wetangula discharged from hospital following fatigue 

There were traffic snarl-ups for the better part of Saturday, while on Sunday, over 2,000 fans congregated at the Jomo Kenyatta sports grounds, where they queued and took baths in turns before leaving the city. 

It costs Sh20 for a shower and caretakers at the public bathrooms claimed Gor Mahia fans spent over Sh40,000 at the facility, an amount never seen there before. 

RITUAL BATHING 

However, not everything went smoothly as some fans proceeded to Lake Victoria and bathed in the full glare of customers eating at the nearby Lwang'ni Beach restaurants.

The Gor Mahia- Tom Mboya axis

Ever wondered why Gor Mahia fanatics visit the Tom Mboya monument in Nairobi's Central business district after matches?

I have been asked this question several times by people who want to know why.

And by others who think that what we do is silly.

Today I will attempt a short and precise answer for the query... from one of the club's ardent fanatics.

Togetherness
Sir David Ochieng'

There's a benign apparition of the name 'Mahia'. 

It can be hard to explain but I say it is more of a superstitious than usual feeling, as the fans gather around the monument, moments after thrashing their opponents. 

It evokes spirits, raises morale and binds one closer to the cause.

Not easy to say, but it is a thing that only matters when you are a K'ogalo fan.. when you are in the groove.. When you are part of the army.

Culture

It's our culture. You can't take it from us; The migration of the fans from the stadium, the manageable decibels from our vuvuzelas, the just inconveniencing songs of joy every match-day and the occasional but fading arrogance displayed by the emotional fanatics. 

They are inborn. They are innate. Yes, they are!

They are K'ogalo.

May 14th Muslima

Bismillah Ar Rahman Ar Raheem

Labbayk Allahum Labbayk... Here I am Oh Allah, Here I am. It was the dua of the crowd of Hajj, the cries of the hearts of the pilgrims. Oh Allah here I am... here I am waiting for You, for Your Forgiveness, for Your Mercy, for Your Blessing, for Your Favour. The supplication of tawaf, of the time spent in ihram...

The Hajj season has passed a new year in the Islamic calendar begins today-- Did we come away changed? Was it a Hajj Mabroor? Is the cry of Labbayk Allahuma Labbayk still wet on our tongues? Are we still seeking Allah's favour and His Mercy? What did we attain? What do we deserve?

Evidence of a Hajj Mabroor is the steadfastness of the servant after the Hajj has been completed. That the practice of righteous actions will establish and maintain themselves. That sins would be left. Al-Hasan al-Basri said, “Al-Hajj al-Mabrur is to return abstinent from this world and desiring the hereafter. This is witnessed to in His saying, “And those who are guided – He increases them in guidance and gives them their righteousness (taqwa, fearful awareness of Allah, care to avoid His displeasure).” (47:17)

Have we changed? It is true that we must hope in Allah's Mercy, as without it we have no hope, but to supplicate for forgiveness and the Favour of Allah without doing anything to change ourselves is like saying "I will lose weight" and then continuing to eat junkfood every meal. Allah is capable of all things that is certain, and most definitely making dua is the best action a Muslim can take... sincere supplication. However one of the distinguishing characteristics of the Muslim from the other followers of other religions is that we are accountable-- We must strive to better ourselves, to earn forgiveness, to avoid sin. In another example of an obligatory ibaddah of the Muslim-- ramadan, the Prophet Sallahu Alayhi wa Salam and his companions would supplicate to Allaah for six months that He would allow them to reach Ramadaan. If He allowed them to reach Ramadaan, they would fast, pray at night and supplicate for the next six months that He accepts the month of Ramadaan from them. The righteous predecessors would struggle to complete and perfect their deeds, hoping afterwards, that it would be accepted and fearing that it would be rejected. From the reports of ‘Alee, “Be more concerned with having your deeds accepted than the deed itself. Did you not hear Allaah say:‘Verily Allaah, only accepts those from those who fear Him. (i.e. possess taqwaa).’ [5:27] “[Lataa'if ul Ma'aarif, p. 246]

Labbayk Allahuma Labbayk... here I am O Allah. Make me of those who is deserving of your mercy, who honors the gift of Islam that you have given me, who honors the gift of Hajj that you gave me. Change my heart, make me fear only You, worship only You, seek only You and your favour. Change my heart O Allah, make me sincere, purify me, make me steadfast. Accept my Hajj O Allah, and invite me back to your house.

Here I am O Allah, Here I am... keep me as one of your servants, keep my heart firm on your religion. Accept my ibadda, accept my Hajj O Allah... Ameen

Tribalism

Forgiveness

HOLD BACK YOUR TONGUE…

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

Praise be to Allah in whose hand my soul lies in, the One who created the heavens and the earth and all that lies between them.
Oh slaves of Allah, take heed of what your tongue says, for that may determine your fate between Jahannam and Jannah. One of the grave problems which is taken very lightly by the Ummah at this present time, are the words that we utter. Never do we think twice before we talk. We indulge ourselves into dirty, flithy and forbidden acts. Among these forbidden things which people take often lightly are gheebah (backbiting), buhtaan (slander) and nameemah (malicious gossip).

Worst of all, we backbite about our very own brothers and sisters in Islam. And I swear by Allah this is such a dirty and deadly sin that we are falling into without even realizing it.
For Allaah subhana wa t’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):
“neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear Allaah. Verily, Allaah is the One Who forgives and accepts repentance, Most Merciful”[al-Hujuraat 49:12]

Gheebah or backbiting means speaking about a Muslim in his absence and saying things that he would not like to have spread around or mentioned. Buhtaan or slander means saying things about a Muslim that are not true, or in other words telling lies about him. Nameemah or malicious gossip means telling one person what another said in order to cause trouble between them.

I do not understand how we even dare to talk about the sins of other people, and indulge ourselves in the discussion of the lives of people, when our life itself is so crooked. People hardly pray, or even if they do, then they pray Fajr at the time of Dhuhr, Dhuhr at the time of ‘Asr, and so forth, and one of their excuse for missing or delaying their Salah is, “I cannot find the time to pray”, but yet we find a lot of time for chit chatting about people.

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Do you know what gheebah (backbiting) is?” They said, “Allaah and His Messenger know best.” He said, “Saying something about your brother that he dislikes.” It was said, “What if what I say about my brother is true?” He said, “If what you say is true then you have backbitten about him, and if it is not true, then you have slandered him.” Narrated by Muslim, 2589

It was narrated that Ibn ‘Abbaas said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) passed by two graves and said, “They are being punished, but they are not being punished for anything that was difficult to avoid. One of them used to walk about spreading malicious gossip (nameemah), and the other used not to take precautions to avoid getting urine on himself when he urinated.” Then he called for a green branch, which he split in two and planted a piece on each grave, and said, “May their torment be reduced so long as these do not dry out.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 213; Muslim, 292

Know Oh muslims that our tongue will be a witness against us on the day of Judgement. It’s the day where is there no refuge, but except in Allah Subhana wa T’ala. And if Allah Subhana wa T’ala does not look at you, then there is nothing that can save you. And it is a day where if Allah gives your records in your left hand, then everything that will come after that will be bad. Do you want to lose your hard earned good deeds within a few seconds? Do you really want to exchange your salah, saum (fasting) and charity for a big pile of bad deeds? If you do want to, then go ahead and insult people, go ahead and slander against people, for on the Day of Judgement all the people who suffered by your tongue will be rewarded with your good deeds.

Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him)reported:
Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa salam) said, "Do you know who is the bankrupt?'' They said:"The bankrupt among us is the one who has neither money with him nor any property".
He said, "The real bankrupt of my Ummah would be he who would come on the Day of Resurrection with Salat, Saum and Sadaqah (charity), (but he will find himself bankrupt on that day as he will have exhausted the good deeds) because he insulted others, slandered against others, unlawfully devoured the wealth of others, shed the blood of others and beat others; so his good deeds would be credited to the account of those (who suffered at his hand). If his good deeds fall short to clear the account, their sins would be entered in his account and he would be thrown in the (Hell) Fire". [Muslim].

Prophet Muhammed sallallahu alaihi wa salam said: “When the son of Adam gets up in the morning all the limbs humble themselves before the tongue and say: Have taqwa of Allaah for our sake, for we are dependant on you, If you are straight/upright, we are straight and If you are crooked, we are crooked.” Hasan - narrated by at-Tirmidhee, lbn Khuzaymah and Ibn Hibbaan from Abu Sa'eed al-Khudree marfoo'aan and authenticated by al-Albaanee in (( Saheeh ul-Jaami')) [351]

So brothers and sisters control your tongues as much as possible, and do no speak ill of people, either in front of them nor behind them. The Messenger of Allah sallallahu alaihi wa salam said: “If anyone guarantees me whats between his jaws and between his legs, I shall guarantee him Jannah” Saheeh - narrated by al-Bukhaaree from Sahl lbn Sa'd marfoo'aan.

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah rahimullah said:
Whoever wrongs a person by slandering him, backbiting about him or insulting him, then repents, Allaah will accept his repentance, but only if the one who was wronged finds out about that, he has the right to settle the score. But if he slandered him or backbit about him and the person did not hear of that, then there are two views according to the scholars, both of which were narrated from Ahmad, the more correct of which is that he should not tell him that he spoke against him in his absence. It was said that he should rather speak well of him in his absence just as he spoke badly of him in his absence, as al-Hasan al-Basri said: the expiation for gheebah is to pray for forgiveness for the person about whom you backbit.
Majmoo’ al-Fataawa, 3/291

Remember the wounds of a sword may heal one day, but the wounds of the tongue - they never may, for it may leave a mark in the heart of a person forever. So let me tell you my dear brothers and sisters in Islam, fear Allah as much He should be feared and stay steadfast in your religion. This is a reminder to firstly myself, and then to all of you. Inshallah May Allah Subhana wa T’ala help us control our tongues and maintain unity within ourselves, ameen.


And our Lord the most high knows best

"Indeed Allaah enjoins upon you justice, kindness and the giving of good to relatives and near ones. And He prohibits you from all shameful and evil deeds, oppression and transgression. Thus He admonishes you, that you may take heed and be reminded." [Soorah an-Nahl, 16:90]

How LUO FESTIVAL Went Down The Glamour,Class And Beauty In PICTURES

The Luo festival a two day Cultural event that sought to celebrate the Luo culture and Lifestyle. A culture of class, Trendsetters, Pacesetters and the Learned.The event slated for the 26th and 27th April 2014 at Carnivore grounds was and has been the talk of town. With beam of musicians mainly Luo and fashion designers displaying their works,the music,red carpet treatment and VIP tent was all set up to the Luo standards,here a chronological photo set of the event. Despite charging 2000 at the gate,it was well attended. The event was not restricted to Luos and as they say being one is a calling,people came from different tribes and races.

And the local music with the local artists live on stage streamed and jiggly people got

R

Red Carpet entrance

Statements were made,the arena setting which include a VIP section though it was all VIP with fine hostesses.

Red carpet it was with beautiful ushers

Then there was fashion show and modelling session where the most enticing part was seeing the plus size models flaunt their curves contrary to the traditional slender models they were called and got the better attention of the man who stared lustily.

But even your normal slender models didn't miss out

The pricing of drinks and VIP set up was Luo standardised.

Amongst the organizers and hosts was one Jalang'o who coincidentally was his birthday and was given a surprise party and a delicious cake cut.

Photo Credits: R.Alai

TALK OF NAIROBI: LUO FESTIVAL IN PICTURES

TALK OF NAIROBI: LUO FESTIVAL IN PICTURES

HIV POSITIVE NATION

The recent research done by the International Institute for HIV/AIDS Control and management reveals that most kenyan politicians, parastatal chiefs and business leaders who have tested positive for HIV/AIDS travels abroad to collect their ARVs despite the fact that the drugs are being provided free of charge in most Health facilities in the country.

 

Some of these politicians travels to Western countries at least once a month within less than ten picking their drugs within Africa; 2 MPs pick their drugs in Kigali, Rwanda, Four MPs and a Governor pick their DOSES from South Africa, 1 former MP and a Senator picks their rounds from Kampala Uganda.
About 23 legislators in the current National Assembly and senate collect their drugs from UK, With a certain deputy governor from Nyanza going all the way to Coventry City to take the drugs.
The research reveals that more leaders have Dubai in the united Arab emirates as their collection point .

The research linked this habit to fear of being identified by people and guarding of reputation and dignity , though some of these personalities like one controversial ODM legislator have severally been heard disclosing his status and still travels to Dubai every month to pick ARV.

Marie Osmond - My Home Town Boy (+playlist)

Just Wait

Just Wait

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried.
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate,
And the Master so gently said, "Child, you must wait!"

"'Wait?', you say, wait!" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and am claiming your Word.

"My future and all to which I can relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to WAIT?
I'm needing a 'yes,' a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

"And Lord, you promised that if we believe
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply!"

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
As my Master replied once again, "You must wait."
So, I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting. . . for what?"

He seemed then to kneel and His eyes wept with mine,
And he tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens, and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead, and cause mountains to run.
All you seek, I could give, and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want -- but, you wouldn't know ME.

"You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint;
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint;
You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there;
You'd not know the joy of resting in me
When darkness and silence were all you could see.

"You'd never experience that fullness of love
As the peace of my Spirit descends like a dove;
You'd know that I give and I save. . .(for a start),
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of my heart.

"The glow of my comfort late into the night.
The faith that I give when you walk without sight,
The depth that's beyond getting just what you asked
Of an infinite God, who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that 'My grace is sufficient for thee.'
Yes, your dreams for your loved ones overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss! If I lost what I'm doing in you!

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to get to know ME.
And though oft may my answers seem terribly late,
My wisest of answers is still but to WAIT."

President

Sahih Bukhari Volume 001, Book 002, Hadith Number 007.

Sahih Bukhari Volume 001, Book 002, Hadith Number 007.

Bismillah-Hir-Rahman-Nir-Raheem

Narated By Ibn 'Umar : Allah's Apostle said: Islam is based on (the following) five (principles):

1. To testify that none has the right to be worshiped but Allah and Muhammad is Allah's Apostle.
2. To offer the (compulsory congregational) prayers dutifully and perfectly.
3. To pay Zakat. (i.e. obligatory charity)
4. To perform Hajj. (i.e. Pilgrimage to Mecca)
5. To observe fast during the month of Ramadan.

Sahih Bukhari Volume 001, Book 001, Hadith Number 002.

Sahih Bukhari Volume 001, Book 001, Hadith Number 002.

Gor Mahia are KPL champs: I said so munching pizza

With vicarious thrill supplemented by the right amount of adrenaline as was expected- and of course a copious injection of occasional sharp deadly involuntary blows I generously gave the immediate ardent K'ogalo fanatic seated next to me, are some of the moments that kept my sitting allowances in contact with the stadium seats.www.davidochieng.wordpress.com

Awesome.

I am still certain that the definition of a deadly soccer player- who is capable of taking lives of opponents in 90 minutes, preferably a goalkeeper or a defender using the greatest of techniques, even if it involves using heavy artillery like a gun to shoot the left back in the chest, a sword to remove the right back's tethers and of course a grenade to blow the head of the keeper is Sserenkuma.

Danny Sserenkuma.. Ooh Danny.

Without Rama Salim's help this time, he managed to break through the Tusker FC defence using a shield, pierced the centre back with a machete and having made sure that the sword completely decimated him, drew his riffle and pulled the trigger, that just wounded the goalkeeper enough to allow him fumble the ball into the net.

The next combination of Sserenkuma and Rama will be lethal- over the next two games. You probably know what that means to the title race.

Last night was long, but then again, how could I sleep!

The title race is over and Gor Mahia are the Tusker Premier League champions for 2012.. You bet it.. I said it.. All this while eating Pizza.. 

Life is sooo good.

The Gor Mahia- Tom Mboya axis

Ever wondered why Gor Mahia fanatics visit the Tom Mboya monument in Nairobi's Central business district after matches?

I have been asked this question several times by people who want to know why.

And by others who think that what we do is silly.

Today I will attempt a short and precise answer for the query... from one of the club's ardent fanatics.

Togetherness

There's a benign apparition of the name 'Mahia'. 

It can be hard to explain but I say it is more of a superstitious than usual feeling, as the fans gather around the monument, moments after thrashing their opponents. 

It evokes spirits, raises morale and binds one closer to the cause.

Not easy to say, but it is a thing that only matters when you are a K'ogalo fan.. when you are in the groove.. When you are part of the army.

Culture

It's our culture. You can't take it from us; The migration of the fans from the stadium, the manageable decibels from our vuvuzelas, the just inconveniencing songs of joy every match-day and the occasional but fading arrogance displayed by the emotional fanatics. 

They are inborn. They are innate. Yes, they are!

They are K'ogalo.www.davidochieng.woedpress.com

101 Reasons Why You Have Not Truly Lived, Until You’ve Lived in HBC (Homa Bay City) – Kenya

“Everyone should live in London at least once,” says a recent listicle published by London-based organization studentbeans.com, who serves up a great list of must-sees and dos that are tailored to make a tourist out of every well meaning graduate.

As a loyal Homa Bayer, I found myself wondering how London, with its terrible weather, strictly demarcated neighborhoods and ethnic contexts, could possibly find itself at par with Homa Bay.

With all due respect to all three of my siblings, who have lived or currently live in London, as well as scores of friends, I had to make a stance for the city I’ve called home for most of my adult life.

Let’s hear it for Homa Bay, folks.

Here are 101 reasons I came up with for why everyone should live in HBC at least once in their life.

1. When you haveHBC as a common denominator, I’ve realized it’s easy to bond with someone. It’s the city we love to love, love to hate, hate to love, hate to hate, and at the end of the day, it’s the city that’s molded those of us who’ve had the opportunity to call it home, for any amount of time, and made us who we are today.

Homa Bay Plaza

2. Homa Bay teaches you to be tolerant of tourists, and graduate from being one: Note the difference between tourists who go to places to see things, and travelers, who enjoy simply being, wherever they are.

3. You learn that the subway system (note Uptown/downtown distinctions) are quite simple. In fact, you will become a pro at deciphering maps.

4. Mamoun’s after a night in Sofia. Enough said.

5. The gyros from Halal Guys after a long night of clubbing? Yes, please.

6. The meatpacking district. Err, not just to go clubbing, but to note the warehouse chic culture.

7. The performers on the subway trains.

8. Learning to brisk walk and weave in and out of subways without a problem.

9. You learn that ten blocks of walking is not really very much.

10. You have a renewed love of open spaces.

11. Central Park’s awesome architecture, especially at the end of the mall.

12. Prospect Park’s landscaping.

13. I could list all the gardens, from the Homa Bay Botanical Garden (a must see during azalea season in April), or the Mbita Botanical Garden (a great spot for sakura matsuri season), but that is cheating. Needless to say, just go.

14. The architectural styles of modern contemporary meets minimalist chic that are apparent on every block.

15. Finding a new shop or a new restaurant, is never a problem.

16. Homa Bay teaches you the difference between fabulous and ghetto fabulous. A must-know, for all fashionistas and style gurus.

17. You will soon realize that there is a real undercurrent to living, and this undercurrent is ruled by etiquette that favours supplying free food for millionnaires. This is a crucial discovery. If you play your game well, you will never have to pay for another day in your life, even if you’re nowhere close to being a tycoon..

15. Grand Central Station. No, really, once you’ve spent about half an hour standing in the middle with people getting married and taking wedding pictures on the side and commuters rushing to catch their trains to Kendu Bay or up the Oyugis , you’ll have a completely different vision of what it is to stand still.

16. Farmer’s markets, because farmer’s markets have the best tarts, and they’re a place that makes you seek out more, seek out the best, because if you don’t, you’ll get trampled.

17. The constantly shifting art galleries in Asego.

18. Taking a walk along Rusings Island makes you realize how much the city’s past is riddled with getting rid of anyone who doesn’t fit the status quo (this tiny island between Mfangano and Takawiri, Ringiti and Remba was home to tourists back in the day and once again home to the same).

Tang’ne Duk

19. Names like Spuyten Duyvil for a neighborhood in the Makongeni is really cool, especially when you find out it means Spiting Devil.

20. You will bump into your friends, if nowhere else, then definitely on the L train.

21. Speaking of the L train, if you’re unfortunate enough to live on this line, you will learn the true virtue of patience. Only the G train will provide you enough competition against the L in inciting this virtue.

22. You can escape to a beach ANY time. If you’re like me, you’ll wake up after missing your stop by half an hour and end up in Takawiri Island, but hey, life is filled with adventures.

23. The food. I know I mentioned specialties, but the food, oh the food. Nowhere else can you wake up to Tunisian cuisine for breakfast, Polish pierogis for lunch, and end up the day with a good and hearty bowl of spaghetti carbonara, only to start the next day shifting continents to Asia, and the following to Latino nations. And you’ll never run out of restaurants to try, I promise you that much.

24. Homa Bay will teach you that you don’t really need that much sleep.

Fish Boats of Homa Bay

25. And you also don’t need to tolerate idiots.

26. There is nothing very wrong with running to catch the train at all costs.

27. There is joy in walking through certain bridges.

28. Tom Mboya street is not reserved just for bankers, but going on a walk along Stone Street can be a fun and definitely unparalleled haven for spotting eye candy.

29. The long walks over the Rangwena Bridge will awaken your love for panoramic skylines and epic sunsets.

30. Lycchee martinis for $4.

31. HBC will make you resilient to loss and pain.

32. And build up a veneer of courage and compassion, regardless of mistakes made, or things not going the way we want them to. It makes the good times that much better.

33. You will learn that every time someone leaves, someone new will come to take their place.

34. The concerts at Radio City Hall and Town Square Garden will have you humming and singing for days.

35. Even though Homa Bayers love wearing a symbolic mask in public transportation, they’re also humble. That dude sitting next to you may be one of the biggest movers and shakers in the city. Why is he taking the subway? Well, because the transportation system is pretty damn tight.

36. When I say the subway is tight, I also mean it’s super cool and works 24 hours a day.

37. And bars stay open till 4 AM.

38. You might never have to watch the city lose power (if you don’t live in parts of Shauri Yako or Got Rabuor, that is).

39. You will rub shoulders with celebrities, to the point where you will not even be that awed by them anymore, and realize they’re just like everyone else.

40. Sitting on a rooftop in HBC is an exceptional experience. Try Homa Bay Tourist Hotel if you don’t have access to your own rooftop.

41. For that matter, Top of the Rock, and the Hippo Back, have some pretty spectacular views too.

42. It doesn’t cost you close to 200 US dollars for a metrocard, like it would for a monthly Oyster pass in London.

43. You will be able to tolerate strangers and learn how not to mask your disdain for their distasteful and obsessive photo taking, without batting your eyelashes.

44. Certainly, it does not rain anywhere near as much as in Canada, nor like London, on the other side of the pond.

45. The free concerts in Town Square.

46. Street fairs are epic.

47. Others are looking at the Chrysler building and taking photos? You’re working in the building, so you’ve already got one up over everyone else.

48. You will realize that tall buildings are built to sway a little in the wind, so that they don’t just crack in half in strong winds.

49. You will also realize there are worse things than rats on the subway.

50. You will learn to like landlords, and learn the meaning of gratitude once your rent is not increased by 1000% when your friends’ ones are.

51. The Boat Basin on the Upper West Side.

54. Finding your neighborhood bar and meeting tons of cool folks.

55. Neighborhoods that are increasingly mixed, and hence are not as xenophobic.

56. Bubble tea.

57. Authentic fruits and vegetables from all over the world.

58. Tons of single folks.

59. And motivated ones too. No one can stay in Homa Bay for too long unless they’re passionate about what they’re doing.

60. Century 21. Not the real estate place, but the bargain shopping haven.

61. Bloomingdale and Macy’s and Saks and all the other stores you’ve grown up hearing about.

62. Discovering the power of donning Manolo Blancs on Oginga Odinga Avenue is shockingly empowering.

63. And so is finding a food craving, like fresh portobello mushrooms in your local bodega at 5 AM.

64. If you are a transplant and you get homesick, chances are you will find a group of people who look, act, think and behave the way you do without judging you, and you can melt right in.

65. Speaking of melting right in, New York is a crucible, so even if you’re not an American, you’re immediately a Homa Bayer.

66. Your heart swells with pride when you give complicated directions on the Lower East Side.

67. Upstate Homa Bay is a tiny train ride away if you miss the countryside and the mountains. Long Island is not far either, if you’re into beaches that don’t have toxic water.

68. Whether it’s business, fashion, arts, theater, visual media, human rights, or even breeding chihuahuas, you’re sure to find Homa Bayers who are paving the way and defining the trends.

69. Let’s talk about sex, baby. You’ve got your pick of the creme de la creme of folks who look hot, act even hotter, and are driven to please, as much as they are driven to being pleased.

70. You can hop onto a bus up to Nairobi, Dar es salaam, Kampala if you’re bored, or take one of the many flight deals into the Caribbean, or other parts of the Counties. HBC has enough flight destinations to choose from.

71. Hot chocolate at the Plaza Hotel after a blizzard.

72. Boutique stores off Broadway

73. Fashion Avenue.

74. Organic produce.

Homa Bay Market

75. It’s a great place to be alone.

76. Or meet lots of people.

77. Or be in a relationship.

78. Comedy clubs central.

79. Most famous movies are set in HBC. Imagine walking through a neighborhood and realizing that it’s something you saw in your favorite film? Check.

80. The musicians who have paid tribute to the city make it come alive.

81. Experimental theater.

82. Carnegie Hall and the Met Opera, as well as Kenyatta Plaza, once you get bored of being marginal.

83. Beacon’s Closet, for awesome bargains.

84. The Strand Bookstore’s 18 miles of books.

85. And B&H’s, if you love photography.

86. The antique stores in mid-town.

Asego Hills and Cathedral

87. Free museum entries on Friday.

88. The knowledge that the “suggested donation” box at the Met, or the MoMA, really only mean that it’s a suggestion. If you’re strapped for cash, a quarter will do.

89. Outdoor swimming pools during the summer in Central Park!

90. Pre-parties, post-parties, after-parties, parties to counter the parties. You get the drift.

91. Everyone visits Homa Bay at least once. You’re never going to be bored or lonely, hence.

92. You will realize that it’s wise not to call Rusinga Island part of Homa Bay (who lives there, anyway?)

Lake Victoria Safari Villege

93. There are beautiful men everywhere. And beautiful women, if you’re a dude. Or both, if you can’t make up your mind.

94. People know how to get what they want in Homa Bay. As Frank Sinatra points out, “If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.” The singer wasn’t lying. Working in HBC will sky rocket your career into unimagined directions.

95. There are no issues with stiff upper lips and overt politeness to make up for sugary hypocritical backbiting (let’s face it, we all know a Briton or two who are like this).

96. The Cloisters provide an unparalleled space for reflection.

97. You can always go yachting if you’re bored of being on mainland.

98. Jogging down Riverside Drive can be fun.

99. The police really work it in HBC. In other words, unless you’re a trouble maker, you’re going to be pretty well protected by the system.

100. Things are so fast paced that they’re constantly evolving and changing to make space for new knowledge.

101. People in Homa Bay love questions more than answers. More than that, they prefer you keep your questions to yourself and figure out the answers by thinking, instead of asking them for silly directions without consulting your map. It’s a city filled with individuality, and you need to learn to embrace yours, after all.

Viva Homa Bay.

Now get going, folks.

Move to the best city in the world. It’s been waiting for you long before you realized it was, and will be waiting for you long after you decide you are done with it, because no one can ever really be done with Homa Bay.www.davidochieng.wordpress.com